The Hitchhiker Who Came To Dinner
"The Hitchhiker Who Came To Dinner" is the first episode of the second series of Sweet Sow. Summary After a few hours of being stuck underwater, the hitchhiker teleports himself to Pleasantview, along with Mummy Pig, Peppa Pig, and Dan Schneider. Later, they visit an individual penthouse and stay there for dinner. What could possibly go wrong? Script (The Hitchhiker, Peppa and Mummy Pig are still in the plane underwater.) Hitchhiker: We're home, baby! Mummy Pig: Hell naw! Peppa: It's been ages since this plane crashed underwater. Mummy Pig: I know, but there is yet to be someone to rescue us. Guess we have to wait for a thousand years until that happens. Peppa: TV? Dan: Bitch, I'm normal. Mummy Pig: No, you're not. Peppa: Mummy, where's the TV? Mummy Pig: There's no signal, dumbass. Hitchhiker: Does everyone have my attention? Good. Now please repeat what I say. Oogka-looga-ronig-noonga-luciferig-poora-tele-poora-coosa! Everyone Else: Oogka-looga-ronig-noonga-luciferig-poora-tele-poora-coosa! Hitchhiker: Good. (Suddenly, everyone inside of the wreck is teleported to a nearby beach.) Hitchhiker: Fantastic! Robert Raccoon: Hello? Hitchhiker: Oh shit! (Dan Schneider, Peppa and Mummy Pig collapse.) Hitchhiker: What just happened? Voice: (offscreen) Take them to a nearby hospital. NOW! Hitchhiker: Yes, but hold on a second. Robert Raccoon: Hey, do you have any light storage that I can use? Hitchhiker: Sorry, but I can't talk to you right now. I have to take my friends to the hospital. Maybe you can carry them to my Sony car? Robert Raccoon: Oh. Sure. (Robert picks up Peppa, Mummy Pig and Dan Schneider one by one to Fred's Sony car.) Hitchhiker: Thanks. Robert Raccoon: No problem. Hey, you stole that car from me! (Fred parks the car at a nearby hospital.) Hitchhiker: Hello? Dr. taxico: Yes? Hitchhiker: My three friends collapsed. Can you please help them? Dr. taxico: Sure. Come upstairs with me, (Dr. taxico leads the hitchhiker into a room with five beds. He grabs a special kind of needle, and puts it on a machine. Then he lays Peppa, Mummy Pig, and Dan Schenider on three of the beds.) Hitchhiker: Hasta la vista, baby. Dr. taxico: We do not accept you, as clowns shouldn't be doctors. Hitchhiker: What about magicians? Dr. taxico: Not them, either. Hitchhiker: Total shite! Dr. taxico: Now, I must get to work. Hitchhiker: What are you doing? Dr. taxico: It's a process called CPR. Hitchhiker: Oh. (Dr. taxico starts to perform CPR on Mummy Pig.) Dr. taxico: (when he starts pumping Mummy Pig's heart) FUCK! Mummy Pig: (wakes up) Where am I wrench loop? Dr. taxico: Because. (Mummy Pig transforms into Robert Raccoon.) Robert Raccoon: Fred? Kill Wagucorn, now! Hitchhiker: Uh, yes sir. (chuckles) Robert Raccoon: And bring me his head. Hitchhiker: Alright. Doctor, what happened to Peppa? Dr. taxico: It appears that she had collpased, along with Dan Schneider, which is why I'm performing CPR operations on them. Hitchhiker: How did that happen? Dr. taxico: They had the inability to think, causing their brains to stop functioning. Hitchhiker: CPR! CPR! CPR! CPR! (Dr. taxico starts performing CPR on Peppa.) Dr. taxico: FUCK! Hitchhiker: Doctor, is she okay? Dr. taxico: Something strange seems to be happening to her. (Peppa transforms into Giovanni, the one below the five.) Giovanni: I will inflate now. (Giovanni starts to inflate, as Robert Raccoon transforms back into Mummy Pig.) Mummy Pig: Another chills gone by. Emily Elephant: Mummy Pig, you made a homophobic article and you should be banned permanently for that. Mummy Pig: No, I didn't. (Quickly, Mummy Pig flies out of her bed and kicks Emily in the face.) Emily Elephant: OW! Dr. taxico: Last one. (Dr. taxico starts pumping Dan Schneider.) Dr. taxico: FUCK! Dan Schneider: Dumb. Let's go to Vívíví. (Cut to a skyscraper in Spilled, Krockia, with 50's synthesizer music in the background.) Voice: (offscreen) Vívíví. (Cut back to them in the hospital.) Mummy Pig: We can't, because it's way too expensive. Mister/Miss Wolfz: Hello, please do not refer to me as "male" or "female". Mummy Pig: Why? You're either born a male or female, dipshit. (Giovanni transforms back into Peppa.) Peppa: Um, excuse me sir, why are you dressed like a woman? Mister/Miss Wolfz: Please do not refer me as a male. Peppa: Why not? Mister/Miss Wolfz: I don't have a gender. Mummy Pig: Bullshit. (Mister/Miss Wolfz disappears.) Mummy Pig: Shall we become homeless? Peppa: How come? Mummy Pig: We're poor, don't you remember? Peppa: Oh. I don't think we should go homeless. Mummy Pig: Nonsense! We're moving into a Sony camper van right now. Dr. taxico: Wait! You forgot to- (The gang are teleported inside a random Sony camper van near the hospital.) Mummy Pig: This van has a built in TV. We can tune in to Ezaccess without moving my fat arse. (Mummy Pig starts driving. Then she turns on the TV, and tunes to Ezaccess. Lenny Cat appears in front of a blue background.) Lenny: (on TV) Hey, kids! What's 20 minus 55? Make sure it's not zero or a negative number. Mummy Pig: Fucking mind flop. Peppa: How did Fred get inside of that little thing called a TV? Hitchhiker: (on TV) By accessing a wormhole. Duh! Peppa: Mummy, why are you driving the wrong way? Mummy Pig: Because I'm watching educational, kid friendly programming. Peppa: But mummy- Mummy Pig: LIMO! (The camper van converts into a red limousine, which somehow results in the hitchhiker disappearing from the TV.) Mummy Pig: MONSTER TRUCKS! MONSTER TRUCKS! MONSTER TRUCKS! Peppa: What do you even mean by that, mummy? (The hitchhiker appears, driving a monster truck beside the limousine.) Hitchhiker: Monster truck, bitches! Voice: (offscreen) You are under arrest for driving a monster truck down a road. Hitchhiker: What? That's bullshi- (The monster truck disappears, as the hitchhiker teleports near where Mummy Pig is driving.) Hitchhiker: Waterpark! Waterpark! Waterpark! (The hitchhiker gets run over by Mummy Pig.) Mummy Pig: FUCK! I hope he isn't dead. Peppa: He disappeared, mummy. Mummy Pig: Fantastic! (Suddenly, the camper van transforms into a prison.) Mummy Pig: Peppa, please buy me a pack of cigarettes or you're fucking dead. Peppa: But mum- (Mummy Pig starts to fly around the prison cell like a puppet.) Mummy Pig: No "buts" or you're fucking dead. Peppa: Fine. I'll buy you cigarettes. Guard: Excuse me, but are you over 18? Category:Sweet Sow episodes Category:Fanon